Fifteen years. Five books finished. The final chapters in the lives of my best friends soon to be sent off to the editor. I feel like I want to die.
Or maybe write an epilogue? Maybe another spin-off? My issue with God and writing books is that I followed the instruction to love my neighbor (in this case fictional) but hate the part after opening my heart where I have to say good-bye to people I so love. I used to ask: why love anyone if they’re only going to die or leave you heartbroken?
For fifteen years every book I read and every library I visited was in quest of information related to my characters and their world. I want to believe I was unearthing a real world in another dimension because at times I felt these characters urging me on and applauding the moments when I got them right. I want a near-death experience where these characters meet me at the end of the lighted tunnel. I want to say like Steve Jobs did before dying, “Wow. Wow! WOW!”
There you are, John Weldon, and looking so well!
It’s raining outside, echoing my gloomy mood. I consider taking my dog’s anti-depressant but I won’t. I don’t like meds. I know mourning takes time. I’ve lost “real” people in my life. I’ve even lost favorite characters before, but to lose over ten people at once and to feel the loss so keenly is more than a little surprising to someone who only expected to write a cynical novella to prove I could.
I have ideas for the future but right now they don’t matter to me. I want to have an Irish wake but I have no one to invite. I want to wear a black arm band and sorry face so no one feels comfortable intruding on this sad time.
Someone will say, “You should be celebrating accomplishing something you didn’t think you could! You stuck to something, finally!”
I know I still have marketing to do and a final cover to enjoy being a part of. I have wonderful readers who encourage me with their reviews and comments. I’m happy with the ending of the series, but I’m afraid that everything now will feel changed like when you see an old flame on the street and find it painful to remember all of the good times between you. Maybe someone will be sad to read the final chapters of THE TENAFLY ROAD SERIES one day. We shall see.
So I’m not quite closing my writing shop for good. I’m just putting a sign up: Closed due to death in the family. I know in a few weeks I’ll want to get started on another novel, but for now I’ll grieve.
Anyone find it hard to deal with endings? Real or imagined? Is there a character you really miss?
BUY THE SERIES TODAY!
“Rich and colorful page turners. Morris has a fine sense of time and place and brings her memorable characters to life. She also tells a captivating story. You won’t find it easy to put her book down, and her characters will stay with you when you do. We can only hope she keeps writing and gives us more episodes in this fascinating chronicle.”
Author Adrienne Morris 
22 responses to “Dream Attained. Closing Shop.”
Love you – personal note to you via email.
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I’m sad with you. It is like losing friends. I bet someone new will pop up and demand a series. You’re a writer–that doesn’t go away with the series!
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Jacqui, your words are very comforting. It is difficult to consider being a writer in between projects. I was lucky because after The House on Tenafly Road I already knew exactly what I wanted to do next so there wasn’t real panic or mourning.
I have an idea for another book but realize I have to create a whole new world. Fun but a little daunting…
Now for a while I can kick back and enjoy other people’s blogs and books!!
Sending love~
A
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It’s hard to let go, but fun to create new friends. Congratulations!
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Thank you, Jill. I laughed when you said creating new friends. Writers really are nutty aren’t we? I think it’s why I don’t really do memoir. I want to create friends, not document the lives of the real ones I have. LOL.
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I agree!
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It’s a tough one to deal with but it will pass, to use a cliche, it will pass.
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LOL. Yeah, I know. But still. I feel like I’m beside a coffin and you’ve just come up to me in a crazy virtual way and given me a hug. What an interesting time we live in!
Hope you are healthy again!
Love,
A
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I’m glad you felt the hug. xx
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Anything worth loving is must be mourned when it is gone. The two things–the joy of love and sorrow at loss — are inextricably connected. Because yes, having something that intimate end is a jolt. Hoping you find a new project to help you move beyond it. And thank you for taking us along on the journey.
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Hi Girl. Your words are so true but I like to shake my fist at God sometimes (actually a lot). I shouldn’t because I feel so incredibly lucky to have found my calling. I know this is what God wants from me. That may sound silly but it’s true.
I never expected blogging to be such a nice way to meet encouraging and interesting people! Now that I’m taking a little break from books I can finally devote more time to friendships here on WordPress. I really do appreciate it every time I hear from you!!!!
Love,
A
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Part of what gives your writing such power is the life you’ve invested in your characters.
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That is such a great compliment! You’ve made my day!
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Congrats! And I am so sorry you are grieving!
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I’m all about the drama. 🙂
Now I’m finally going to read your Kin book…
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Yay! You’ve lived in their world for a long time!
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I definitely get it. I’ve felt this way after finishing a single novel, so it must be five times as emotional to come to the end of a series. But look at it this way: you’re the one who brought these people to life! And you can pop in and visit any time you like.
Congratulations on a huge accomplishment! 🏆🥂
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I spend the other morning fruitlessly researching other dimensions where our characters live…
I guess this is a chance to practice savoring an accomplishment. I tend to immediately ask what’s next so maybe it’s good that I don’t know exactly what I want to do next. 😉
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Gosh yes I can relate to this feeling! It can be so sad saying goodbye to characters we’ve made up (and it doesn’t really matter that they’re make believe, cos they feel real enough to write about!) But it’s still a wonderful achievement to reach the end of a story (even if it’s a tad bittersweet 😉 )- so congratulations!
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Thanks!
Yes, the best part about being finished is that I’ve proven to myself something others have said that I never really believed: hard work and even a tiny bit of courage goes a long way. I hope all aspiring writers who feel timid about getting started just take the first few steps. It makes all the difference.
Have a great week, my friend. Wonder what you think about Syria but that’s for a blogging universe not our own.
A
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You’re welcome! That’s wonderful 😀
Oh gosh- Syria, now that’s a can of worms. I guess I have complex thoughts (it is a complex issue) and my thoughts could be summarised as, well, gloomy. I’d rather non-intervention at this stage and don’t think regime change is a viable option when all the rebel forces seemed ensconced in islamism (sorry, you asked 😉 )
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Not sorry at all. I agree 100%.
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