When driving an eleven year old girl to school each morning you have to make some concessions. Ten minutes of pop music shouldn’t be so bad, right? The problem is (ask my ex-husband) that I find it impossible to take off my social critic hat. Movies, books, TV, ads are all fair game–all the time (I just sent an email to Diamond Crystal Salt praising them for their silly but cute radio ads about a husband and a wife who actually seem to love each other–and Diamond Crystal Salt, of course).

My soon-to-be daughter is beginning to find this part of my personality exhausting.

First song:

Oh, I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah, that is where I’m gonna be because I wanna be
No, I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty
You get off on your 9 to 5
Dream of picket fences and trophy wives
But no, I’m never gonna be ’cause I don’t wanna be
No, I don’t wanna sit still look pretty

Mr. Right could be nice for one night
But then he wanna take control
And I would rather fly solo

That Snow White
She did right
In her life
Had 7 men to do the chores
‘Cause that’s not what a lady’s for

The only thing a boy’s gonna give a girl for free’s captivity

After hearing Sit Still and Look Pretty by Daya about a million times I ask daughter if she understands what the song is about.

“Love?” she replies tentatively.

I turn the radio down. “Nope. It’s actually about hating boys and men.”

“I just like the tune,” my daughter says.

“Yeah, it’s catchy, but the singer has a warped sense of reality if she thinks: The only thing a boy’s gonna give a girl for free’s captivity.”

“What does captivity mean?” daughter asks.

“It means the boy wants to trap and control you.”

“I think that boy Josh in Ms. Wood’s class is nice, don’t you?” She likes to deflect to happier thoughts but I can’t let it go.

“So this catchy little tune is making you think boys are a waste of time and that looking pretty is stupid.”

Daughter looks as if I’ve robbed her of her dream. “So this doesn’t mean you won’t let me wear make up when I’m in high school, does it?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. My point is that you can’t believe everything a pop song says. If you think a bunch of elves are gonna clean up after you, you’re mistaken.”

“I like the dentist elf best,” she says.

She turns the music back up. Her favorite song Closer is playing and we both sing along (because it so super catchy). If you haven’t heard the song it’s about a guy and girl who haven’t seen each other for 4 years. They hook up for the night in the back of the girl’s Range Rover that she can’t afford like the tattoo on her shoulder. Later they spend time on a stolen mattress.

Just before we get to school  this comes on:

And if you feel you’re sinking,
I will jump right over into cold, cold water for you
And although time may take us into different places
I will still be patient with you
And I hope you know

I won’t let go
I’ll be your lifeline tonight
I won’t let go
I’ll be your lifeline tonight

Cause we all get lost sometimes, you know?
It’s how we learn and how we grow
And I wanna lay with you ’til I’m old
You shouldn’t be fighting on your own.

Yes, this is a Justin Beiber song. It mentions getting high at the beginning, but you can’t have everything in pop music.

My daughter turns to me and says, “That boy Justin.”

I nod. “Yeah. That boy.”

*** Featured image from really funny article: UNHAPPY MOTHERS IN WESTERN ART HISTORY

AND . . . if you like reading stories about messy relationships . . .